Balance is BS: How To Choose Which Ball to Drop

As busy moms we are always in the pursuit of this elusive “balance.” This idea that, if we do it right, we can juggle it all without dropping any of the balls…

That’s is all just BS! It’s impossible! 

You will drop the balls…. All the balls if you aren’t careful.

Or you are so focused on not dropping the balls that you aren't really LIVING your life.

via GIPHY

If (more like when) that first ball gets dropped, it's more than likely the one that reminds us to take care of ourselves. 

Again, you will more than likely drop the balls… but if YOU choose which balls to drop, the most important ones can be protected.

Ok, enough with the juggling metaphor…

My point is, not every part of your life can be great at the same time and that’s ok. That’s more than ok, that’s life!

Something always has to give. You need focus on your priorities and sometimes say “F the rest.”

You need to truly decide what is important to you right now. Not anyone else, YOU! 

…"ok, Alison… but HOW?"

“I’m living mostly in survival mode, there isn’t anything else I can let slide”

“I already feel like I’m not doing enough, there is nothing else I can let go of so that I can prioritize myself”

"Yes, that makes sense, but how to I identify my priorities and then how to I decided what can be let go?”

The first thing is to distinguish between priorities (health, family, relationships, personal goals, etc.) and to-dos (laundry, cleaning, appointments, etc.).  ​

The priorities always have to be put before the to-dos!  ...and no that doesn’t mean never do laundry (you wish). It simply means your priorities lead.  Again, makes sense, buuuutttt the issues come in when actually decided how to devote and divide your time.

This is HARD.

I recently read an interesting article from SwimBikeMom, that I knew would help my YOU, my tribe.

She calls it the Suck Line Method and it works like this:

1. Each week, you start by writing down a list of all the things that matter to YOU (spouse, family, kids, health, friendships, self care…). Then you go through all of your to-dos (laundry, cleaning, cooking, shuttling kids, appointments, ...)
2. Once you have the list, shuffle it a bit to prioritize certain priorities/to-dos.
3. Finally count down 10-12 spaces and draw a “big, fat line.”

Everything above the line gets your attention and focus for the week. Everything below that line you completely forget about FOR THE WHOLE WEEK. Everything below the line just “sucks” for one week. Maybe next week some of the "suck" things get to go above the line, you rotate them around a bit, other things come up, but THIS week you focus on ONLY what’s above the line.

This whole concept was very intriguing to me. So, as promised, I tested it out over the past 2 weeks.

These were my lists for the past two weeks:

And here are my lessons learned:

• If I want to let laundry slip below the suck like again, I need to buy Dustin more underwear and t-shirts. Also maybe a little transparency would be good too. I didn’t tell him about this little experiment until he was trying to pack for a business trip with no clean underwear...oops.
• Some priorities are fixed to the top, some shuffle but never go below the suck line and some like my pedicure never seem to never come above the suck line (and that’s ok too).
• This list is personal AND would have been very different in different stages of my life.
• It’s not the end of the world of some of these things slip for a week or even two (not necessarily the laundry as noted above, lesson learned). Maintaining my friendships is important and something I neglected for far too long building my business, going on the road and raising a family.  I can neglected it sometimes but not all the time; I just need to be intentional about it.
• This past week healthy eating slipped for sure. We had 2 birthdays in the house this week (plus Father’s Day). We had cake, ice cream cake, and a cookie cake! We went out for hibachi, we ate all their favorite foods, we had very little in the way of balanced healthy meals, but IT’S OK. No guilt, not beating myself up.  Balanced healthy eating just simply goes back above the suck line this week!
• This week, I really need to clean my house (somethings can only be below the suck line for so long).
• One thing I know is your health should NEVER fall below the suck line!

I know you’ve been nodding along with me over there on the other side of the screen.  It all makes sense, it sounds simple enough but the question is will you do it? So often self care and putting yourself first is one of those things that moms just think about, and think about, but struggle pulling the trigger and really doing it. So let ME put you first!  Click here to book a time to chat with me so we can start moving you from thinking to action asap. 

Its free..there's no obligation. Let’s just sit down and knock this thing out together.

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